Do you know how safe it feels to fall asleep in your arms?
When I find myself there, pressed against you listening to your heart beat with slowly closing eyes.
Just knowing in this moment. Everything is ok.
I had a wonderful time meeting little Gilyana and his family. He was having a day, with some painful reflux and wind. Mama bear comforted him, Papa Bear comforted him. We managed to get through it with lots of cuddles, capturing some wonderful moments in between.
Scrolling past hundreds of Pinterest pins on home organisation, parenting methods and marketing skills. How do we get the perfect balance? How do we manage the house, parenting and work all at the same time? I have pinterest pins with tips on how I could organise the house better, improve my business skills, make my grass greener in the like. I never feel like I am nailing any of them.
It occured to me to write a post on this subject after many conversations with friends about trying to stay on top of things without feeling like your drowning. Mummy guilt is a powerful thing and I think we are so ever torn about how to balance the 10 thousand item to do list in our chaotic lives. Mummy guilt pulls us in all directions telling us we need to be here, need to be there, need to do this, need to be - more.
I dont think there is one soul on the planet who feels like they are. Who ever feels like they are ticking all the boxes on their to do lists? Women and Men alike. Whether you are parenting little kids or big kids, 1 or 10. Working or not. Every single one of you feel like your just keeping your head above water, while the mum next door with 2.5 kids has her total shit together. Not true. She is looking across the grass at the mum with 5 kids thinking the very same thing.
A mother that has all the help she needs, a cleaner, chef chauffeur will probably still guilt herself into thinking she should be doing more even though thats what their hired for - to help.
There are days I feel productive and their are f*** it days where I admit defeat and not one damn thing is going to get done. I beg to close my eyes for a new day to start. No two families are the same and has different challenges to overcome. Our families are also forever growing and evolving, so with old and new challenges coming and going so does our commitments, schedules and work/life balance. So in the power of support of knowledge I want to share what this week looks to me. I run my own photography business from home, I have a 10 month old and a 6 year old. So I totally acknowledge my problems may be very different to someone else's. I do not balance. I am not a supermum, sometimes there are days I lose my shit so bad that I resent being a mum at all. Other days I rock being a mum, typically on days I am a sucky house wife. Some days my kids need me so bad I provide poor service to a client. I get days where I am so determined to give my business some love that I have to be a sucky house wife and a sucky parent and so be it.
After a busy weekend, I am pulled in all directions. The house is a bomb. I walk the hallways and living areas stepping around toys, clothes and bits of food trickling through out the house from my 10mth olds new crawling adventures. I have 50 emails waiting for me a galleries I need to sort. I chose the house. My husband needs clean uniforms for the week and I feel like I cannot breathe in my house. By the end of the day the house is spotless.
The kitchen is a bomb again. I have dishes piled up at the sink because you know, stacking them in the dishwasher is a rediculously hard task. I have washing piled up on the table ready for folding. The kids and I need to sort some medical appointments and my 6 yr old is on holidays and wants to catch up with friends. So I abandon the house at 9 am, run between 3 different medical appointments and have a playdate. I do not get home until 6 30 pm. My 6 yr old is happy, my 10 mth old and husband is not. We have a late dinner and a late bed time.
Baby is tired from the day before. He is cranky, I did not sleep well after tossing and turning most of the night. My neck and back kills and I barely can keep my eyes open. Today is a write off and I fall asleep on the couch. Surrounded by the bliss of toy, clothes, tissues and dish clutter. Later in the evening I manage to respond to some emails and hubby cooked dinner.
Today I am determine to provide an optimum client experience. I respond to messages instantly. I smash through orders and setting up client galleries. I even manage to update a few things on my website and run the dishwasher thanks to the baby having a big day sleep. I ignore the 4 loads of washing on the table. I try to attempt writing some blog posts however many nappy change and head bump interruptions from my 10 mth old I feel like Ive pushed my luck in the work department and focus my attention in him.
I would really like to catch up with some friends. The kids are sick so thats a no no and I really hope they do not feel like I am neglecting. I ponder at when will I ever get the chance to socialise and maintain my friendships. I very reluctantly tend to tedious house duties and chip away at that washing pile. As I check my emails i sigh at the lack of enquiries coming after a month of sickness and not enough marketing, I have now frustratingly fallen below my quota for the month.
Always first in best dressed, my husband and I coordinate our work commitments and tag team being home with the kids. We do a breakfast or brunch together at our favourite cafe before doing our grocery shopping for the week ahead.
So thats this week for me and not every week is the same. I think the only secret I really have to share is learn to prioritise. Whats important and needs doing right now? I will never have enough hours in the day. Heck before I was a parent I still struggled to find time for somethings (idiot). If something needs to be done, make time for it. If you have to be a sucky business person because your kids miss spending time with you or your in your third round of gastro in the household. Write an email, apologise that you suck but you will deliver as soon as you can. If you really really need to edit that gallery and your kids won't leave you alone. Put netflix on repeat and do what you gotta do. You can be an attentive parent another day.
Most importantly, be kind to yourself.
Introducing newborn baby Pippa. I love photographing newborns and I was just thrilled to be asked to photograph little Pippa after photographing her big brother when he was a newborn! Its just amazing to be able to follow families along as the continue to grow.
Read MoreI anticipated the arrival on newborn Theodore as we waited patiently outside the theatre room. To our delight baby theo was born safe and sound. Take a peek at newborn Theo's first moments with mum and dad.
Read MoreWe have been teething over here. All the mums out there at the word will groan with sympathy. Everyone knows how torturous the days of screaming in pain, going through the motions of paracetamol doses, walking the halls and pats on the back as they wimper on your chest. Dante didnt seem too bad with his first two teeth, but the next two. His top teeth have been a nightmare. For 2 weeks now I have had broken sleep. enduring half hour sleep cycles, administering panadol, nurofen and bonjela to try and keep the pain at bay. A hospital trip with temperatures at 40, making me second guess what is wrong. Am I doing it right? Mama Guilt. Thats a actually a thing right. I hate it. I usually I like to think I make educated decisions through out life and mother guilt makes me second guess every single parenting decision I make. Is he tired? Or too tired? Maybe he is hot? Perhaps Ive made him too hot? Is it teeth or is he sick?Maybe he is hungry. Do they eat healthy enough? I have given too many treats? Was that punishment necessary or was I too harsh?
And we continue on. Feed, cuddle, medicine repeat.
To continue through the blog circle see what matters to Chloe Lodge
This month Abby had her very first school excursion. A huge milestone for us. Its so crazy to look back at how far she has come. Considering 2 years ago I could even get a babysitter or family member to look after her. I didn't even think I would get her to go to school let alone an excursion! Now she is off in leaps and bounds, going for sleep overs, loving school and taking on new challenges with great courage. I'm so used to her making me anxious about leaving her that I still have thoughts in the back of my mind, what if she isn't ok? What if she needs me? However I am getting used to pushing those thoughts aside and allowing my new brave little girl take on the world head on. Click through to see what matters to Yana Klein this July.
This session showcases two little love birds who wanted to capture a moment in time. A milestone in their lives that celebrates their little growing love bump. Ashley and Ryan have a pretty relaxed lifestyle where they just chill out at home enjoying each others company. They have 3 beautiful fur babies, which keep life interesting. The 3 three of them were very cheeky! Ryan and Ashley told me their story of how they fell hard and fast for each other and you can't deny it, their connection is epic! Clearly head over heels for one another.
The McWilliams are dear to me. Being one of my clients from my early days in photography, I have photographed their journey from the beginning. Starting out as a young couple, Sophia approached me to capture her pregnancy with her first born. Her baby boy, little Henry came earthside soon afterwards and I captured those early newborn days together at home. 2 years later, Sophia and Mark have asked me to capture the next chapter in their lives. Baby number two!
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Introducing newborn baby Maya
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'its 3 am and they're all asleep,
no one is here to see, as we rock slowly back and forth
your looking right back at me.
Your little hand is feather light reaching up to my chin,
I hold your tiny body in my arms
as I stroke your baby skin.
This little poem resonates so much with new parents. Little Baby Lucy's newborn session was so peaceful as we watched new mama Nicole gush over her new little darling. All resting at home, feed, change sleep repeat. Something so beautiful about the first born, who gets to soak up all the attention. Life seems pretty bliss in the Carpinato household.
This month my dear Abby turned 6! It has been a big year full of firsts and big milestones. This year has been a new transition into sisterhood, starting Kindy and taking her ballet to the next level. I really wanted to make her feel special this year by organising Abby and her friends to have a pony party in celebration of her 6th birthday. Unfortunately we had to cancel due the incredible freak storm that hit and affected so many families in Sydney. Despite the major disappointment Abby still had an amazing time with her friends in an indoor play centre. Every year on all our birthdays, we get together at my mothers and have a big family dinner. Usually something simple like pizza and cake. Its something I like doing and has become a simple family tradition.
Follow the link to see what matters to Lauren at Lauren Kennedy Photography month.
This month I decided to take some self portraits with Dante and experiment with some shadows. The moments that matter to me this month are about the fact I am really enjoying our time alone at home. He is nearly 6 months old now and he seems to be growing at a super fast pace. I have never been so busy in my life with work and I am feeling the mummy guilt set in. I feel like he was born yesterday and already he is growing into this little personality, wanting to be on the move so so badly. Slow down my baby, don't be so eager to grow so quickly. I may blink and miss something.
To see what matters to Courtney Holmes follow this link
Daphne's First Birthday party in the Hills District, Sydney
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This post is part of a new blog circle I'm in with some amazing artists called "Moments that Matter". At the bottom of this post, please click on the link to see what also matters to Bec Stewart this month.
For me the moments that matter right now are the moments happening at home. My first born, Abby has survived her first term at Kindy. I am missing having her around so I am really appreciating having her home for the holidays. I get to see her play in the backyard with her friends and family and she is enjoying spending time with her baby brother.
For moments that matter to Bec please follow this link - Bec Stewart
